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Black men in Bristol don’t give us the time of day.But non-Black men just seem to stick with White women here.He added that his White friends would not rule out dating us, but that he warned them they would have trouble handling a Black woman.Having Black men reinforce these stereotypes makes dating harder for us. A conversation I had with my friend Ally last week summarises the confusion among my girlfriends: ‘‘I want a man I connect with on every level, and I don’t care about their colour, but I’m just having no luck, I feel like I’ve been single forever!It seems that many Black women feel that it is our responsibility to preserve the Black community. Surely, a shared connection, chemistry and interests (which is so hard to find) are more important than having to explain to a man how a weave is sown in?
I am, of course, pleased that it is now acceptable to date who you want regardless of their skin colour.
However, I often read American blogs that advise Black women to go to Europe as it is more likely that they’ll find love with a slight irritation – dating non-Black men here is certainly no easier than anywhere else.
Couple this with the growing Western trend of many Black men seeking to date and mate with women of any other ethnicity except their own and the general invisibility of Black women in the media (when we are represented, we’re aggressive, unfeminine and not the object of any attraction) and you’ll find that Black women in the UK are facing the same conundrum as our sisters across the Atlantic.
But things are thankfully changing for Black women.
It is now estimated that 48 percent of Black Caribbean men and 34 percent of Black Caribbean women are in mixed-race relationships in the UK.